Hello Timothy!
Your play flowed so well that I was disappointed to see that your manuscript ended, unfinished, on Page 41. I hope that I can read your entire play very soon.
All of your dialogue is witty and sparkling, and every line contributes to characterization. The genre you seem to have chosen for this piece is Theatre of the Absurd, which emerged in the 1960s from industrialization, mechanization, and the subsequent de-humanization of relationships in well-developed countries. In Asia, this works very well in Singapore, Japan, Korea, and China, not due to industrialization and mechanization but to giant leaps in technology.
You have an incisive, Kafkaesque mind that endows your protagonist with a unique point of view that, at the same time, comes across as valid social commentary. Your second act seemed too short in comparison with the first, but that, of course, was due to the fact that your manuscript is unfinished. Keep in mind that both acts should be balanced--bring back the other characters even if they must appear as yet other characters played by the same performers. This will keep your play well-structured.
Even in its present state, your play is already very well-polished. Be sensitive, however, to nuances in language. On Page 1, Lines 3, 19, and 20, for instance, the line "We bring you to where you need to be" is more correctly stated "We bring you where you need to be". also on Page 1, the Airline Rep's line "...passengers of Flight 1949 to..." is usually, in airports, "..passengers of Flight 1949 bound for..."
Well done!
Your play flowed so well that I was disappointed to see that your manuscript ended, unfinished, on Page 41. I hope that I can read your entire play very soon.
All of your dialogue is witty and sparkling, and every line contributes to characterization. The genre you seem to have chosen for this piece is Theatre of the Absurd, which emerged in the 1960s from industrialization, mechanization, and the subsequent de-humanization of relationships in well-developed countries. In Asia, this works very well in Singapore, Japan, Korea, and China, not due to industrialization and mechanization but to giant leaps in technology.
You have an incisive, Kafkaesque mind that endows your protagonist with a unique point of view that, at the same time, comes across as valid social commentary. Your second act seemed too short in comparison with the first, but that, of course, was due to the fact that your manuscript is unfinished. Keep in mind that both acts should be balanced--bring back the other characters even if they must appear as yet other characters played by the same performers. This will keep your play well-structured.
Even in its present state, your play is already very well-polished. Be sensitive, however, to nuances in language. On Page 1, Lines 3, 19, and 20, for instance, the line "We bring you to where you need to be" is more correctly stated "We bring you where you need to be". also on Page 1, the Airline Rep's line "...passengers of Flight 1949 to..." is usually, in airports, "..passengers of Flight 1949 bound for..."
Well done!
No comments:
Post a Comment