Hello Eleanor!
Thank you for writing this wonderful play. Here are my comments:
--Scene 5 is mainly exposition. Provide dramatic tension between the two men. While this is really a feminist play, you need to flesh out your male characters and render them as real persons. Give your male performers acting roles they can be proud to assume.
--Consider eliminating male characters altogether, rewriting the scenes that have them into monologues or reports.
--It is possible to envision the performer of CHILD as a young adult, rather than casting a real child. Casting children in plays usually creates production problems due to scheduling.
--Your real drama begins in Scene 7.
--I offer you two options:
1) Write a second act in which the events are repeated, but with a different, upbeat ending. It is then up to the audience to decide which is the real act and which is the fantasy act. This will elevate your one-act play to a full-length play.
2) Interweave the real act and the fantasy act, keeping the piece a one-act play. Explore your subject matter. Squeeze every bit of imagery out of it.
3) In one act, CHILD should be female. In the other, male. This will provide more dynamics to your message.
While further developing your play, put more of yourself (your selves, actually, since playwrights really have multiple personalities) in your work. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed to show your characters and their emotions inside out.
In all, though, well done! Persist and see this through.
Thank you for writing this wonderful play. Here are my comments:
--Scene 5 is mainly exposition. Provide dramatic tension between the two men. While this is really a feminist play, you need to flesh out your male characters and render them as real persons. Give your male performers acting roles they can be proud to assume.
--Consider eliminating male characters altogether, rewriting the scenes that have them into monologues or reports.
--It is possible to envision the performer of CHILD as a young adult, rather than casting a real child. Casting children in plays usually creates production problems due to scheduling.
--Your real drama begins in Scene 7.
--I offer you two options:
1) Write a second act in which the events are repeated, but with a different, upbeat ending. It is then up to the audience to decide which is the real act and which is the fantasy act. This will elevate your one-act play to a full-length play.
2) Interweave the real act and the fantasy act, keeping the piece a one-act play. Explore your subject matter. Squeeze every bit of imagery out of it.
3) In one act, CHILD should be female. In the other, male. This will provide more dynamics to your message.
While further developing your play, put more of yourself (your selves, actually, since playwrights really have multiple personalities) in your work. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed to show your characters and their emotions inside out.
In all, though, well done! Persist and see this through.
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