Hello Rae!
Your play requires a lot of reworking but, if you handle the material carefully and prodigiously, it will end up being stage-worthy. For starters it is about the juxtaposition of relationships, which is always of universal value, while addressing issues of racism and discrimination.
The real drama begins in Act 3, Scene 1, the penultimate scene in your play. This is the best point of attack. Something big is at stake, the audience immediately knows it, and the premise is loud and clear. Your choices are now between two directions: 1) proceed writing from this scene, which will entail developing new protagonists, and 2) use it as a springboard for a flashback.
Before proceeding with restructuring and revising, be aware that sexuality has always been problematic subject matter for all playwrights. There is only one playwright in this world who attempted several times to write about it--that was Tennessee Williams, and, even to this day, many drama professors look upon those works as immature.
Strive to give architectonic balance to the entire work. In every Act, therefore, it would be more sound to have the same number of scenes. Otherwise one or two Acts will end up lopsided.
On the whole, your play seems to have been written for the medium of television, employing close-ups and fades. Remember that, for that medium, many scenes are written for transition, for mood, and for entertainment. On the stage, every scene must push forward the premise and must therefore be complete.
Your ability to establish characters without lengthy exposition is one of your remarkable assets. You also have a good ear for dialogue, but avoid trite passages such as on Page 6, Line 3, where someone says, "We've got to stop meeting like this".
Are you able to redo your work in time for my arrival in Singapore?
When you re-submit your work, kindly highlight the passages you changed or added, in a bright color. If nothing is highlighted, I will assume that you did nothing to change the work.
I dramaturge works not only as stage plays but as dramatic literature, which it must be long after the curtain falls.
Your play requires a lot of reworking but, if you handle the material carefully and prodigiously, it will end up being stage-worthy. For starters it is about the juxtaposition of relationships, which is always of universal value, while addressing issues of racism and discrimination.
The real drama begins in Act 3, Scene 1, the penultimate scene in your play. This is the best point of attack. Something big is at stake, the audience immediately knows it, and the premise is loud and clear. Your choices are now between two directions: 1) proceed writing from this scene, which will entail developing new protagonists, and 2) use it as a springboard for a flashback.
Before proceeding with restructuring and revising, be aware that sexuality has always been problematic subject matter for all playwrights. There is only one playwright in this world who attempted several times to write about it--that was Tennessee Williams, and, even to this day, many drama professors look upon those works as immature.
Strive to give architectonic balance to the entire work. In every Act, therefore, it would be more sound to have the same number of scenes. Otherwise one or two Acts will end up lopsided.
On the whole, your play seems to have been written for the medium of television, employing close-ups and fades. Remember that, for that medium, many scenes are written for transition, for mood, and for entertainment. On the stage, every scene must push forward the premise and must therefore be complete.
Your ability to establish characters without lengthy exposition is one of your remarkable assets. You also have a good ear for dialogue, but avoid trite passages such as on Page 6, Line 3, where someone says, "We've got to stop meeting like this".
Are you able to redo your work in time for my arrival in Singapore?
When you re-submit your work, kindly highlight the passages you changed or added, in a bright color. If nothing is highlighted, I will assume that you did nothing to change the work.
I dramaturge works not only as stage plays but as dramatic literature, which it must be long after the curtain falls.
No comments:
Post a Comment