Writing from The Heart: Dramaturgy for Theatreworks: Ellie's Play

Writing from The Heart

"Writing from The Heart" is a workshop on creative writing, creative drawing, and creative drama. There are three available versions of this workshop: one for beginners on the secondary, tertiary, and graduate levels, and another for practitioners. A third version of this workshop is designed as an outreach program to disadvantaged and underserved audiences such as the disabled, the poor and the marginalized, victims of human trafficking, battered women and abused children, drug rehabilitation center residents, child combatants, children in conflict with the law, prisoners, and gang leaders. This third version incorporates creativity and problem awareness, conflict resolution, crisis intervention, trauma therapy, and peacemaking.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Dramaturgy for Theatreworks: Ellie's Play

Your e-mail message: "Hello Tony!

"Trust this finds you well. Thank you so much for all your comments re my play.

"Re: Title - I changed it to The Birdrock Effect

"I added dancers wearing leotard and masks as follows:

- mean/scary masks at the prologue - hoping to show internal conflict (guilty feeling over not being able to save a pet)

- venetian masks - (associated with Carl and Alba)

- feathery headpieces (associated with the freedom from the fear/aversion and guilty feeling)

"I removed the tape recorder altogether and added a character called Nurse Joy to address the tape recorded portions.

"Re Carl and Alba: I removed the voice over- they can be played by the actors who play Newton and Nurse Joy.

"I added a magic trick to help address Kathryn's trance and the connection between adult and young Kathryn.

"I make Kathryn talk to herself (maybe better to the audience?) in order to address the internal change from guilty feeling to freedom feeling after that long passage of time. I do appreciate your comments and will be happy to rework on my play.

"Attached are the marked up copy (for you to see what I changed) and the clean copy (for your convenience) of my play.

"All the very best to you. Looking forward to hearing from you again,

"With appreciation,

"Ellie"

My answer: Hi Ellie!

Thank you for all the hard work you've been doing on your play.

The structure of your play is better and most enjoyable, and there are no awkward scenes.

I have a few comments:

--Page 3, Line 10, when you indicate that "FURNITURE IS ROLLED INTO PLACE AFTER DANCES," is furniture necessary at all? Do you mean backdrop furniture or foldable, cardboard furniture?

The movement of furniture onstage needs to be well-timed, and can unnecessarily take anywhere from seconds to minutes while the action stops.

--You have a very good eye for visuals. In this play you work effectively with dichotomies.

--Page 10, Line 16: Does not John's accident defuse the death of Coco? Were you intending to associate John's death with Coco's death? If you did, then the submotif was dropped completely, and I suggest that you focus on Coco's death instead.

--From my second reading of your play I note that you substitute a dance for the internal processing of your main character. This is fine. It will work, but takes away the potential dramatic change within your character--even for a children's play--and functions a la deus ex machina.

Go for a reading with Theatreworks now. Do not over-write--as in painting, do not over-paint--because it makes one's work lose freshness and spontaneity.

Remember that a written play is a living document. It will take on shape as you work with the director, the cast, the production designer, and the sound and music designer.

I look forward to meeting you again in Singapore this December.