Dramaturgy for Theatreworks

Your e-mail message:

"Hello Tony

"Brendan has asked to send you a progress report after your postings at http://tonyperezphilippinescyberspacebook18.blogspot.sg/2014_09_01_archive.html.

"<< A report on a reading session held in October 2014 >>

"Samantha, Serene, Helmi, Beverly, De Jun, Mayura and Zoe gathered at 72-13 on 18 Oct 2014 from 10am - 2pm in Singapore for a reading of our works.  

"Four works by Samantha, Helmi, Beverly and Zoe were read and discussed. Each of us read parts from scences as directed by the playwright. We also gave feedback as asked by the playwright, and on the directions given by Tony Perez's blog. We also gave comments as a potential audience, as a potential actor, and discussed about how the storyline should go given the characters that we have. Some of us outlined the themes we picked up from the read play.

"Even though the discussion per work was limited to one hour, it was really fruitful, because the budding playwrights 'heard' and 'saw' the characters they have written. Even after the session, some continued to chat on a topic for the 5th work.

"Prior to the October session, the playwrights shared their trepidation on their works being harshly critiqued by others. Afterall, we were only at the amateur stage. I have asked that the playwright to take the lead for the discussion instead, by asking for feedback, and for the other participants to follow the playwrights' lead. 

"It has produced good results so far, as the discussion focused on the work and how it would appear or appeal to the audience. The playwrights have also invited one another to share their revised works by the next session in November 2014.

"<< Next session >>

"It will be held in mid-Nov at 72-13.

"I have asked the rest to consider forming the second group to have a reading or sharing at 72-13, as Brendan have also requested. I have also asked for some of them to step up to organise the second group, as I could only organise the first group.

"Ellie has asked for a reading after 18 Oct session, but none of us were able to make it. Ellie also replied that she would be returning home in November so she would not be able to join us in the reading. However, it seems she would return in time for your mentorship.

"Hope this helps.

"Cheers from Zoe"

My answer:  Hi Zoe!

So difficult to teleport at a moment's notice.

I am looking forward to meeting this group.

Most importantly I am also looking forward to meet the group that has not responded. My work with them is not finished.

Once you decide to be a playwright, there is no such thing as being an "amateur" playwright.  You ARE a playwright already, whether you like it or not.

Dramaturgy for Theatreworks: Ellie's Play

Your  e-mail message:

"Hello Tony,

"Thank you again for your comments. I have made changes as follows:

"Furniture: no need to be rolled out - now furniture if any just need to be the closest to the wall as possible.

Scene 2: I totally agree with you so John is out of the picture. They are now celebrating Kathryn's birthday. Kathryn declares to the duck that the duck is her gift to herself. She goes to school and when she comes back the cooked duck is their parent's gift to her. 

"Please see attached a marked up and a clean copy of the changes I made in 2 pages. 

Now, I'm checking to see if my classmates can meet for a role-play reading.

"I do hope to have the chance to meet you again. When in December will you be here?

"For your information, it's time for me and my husband to return to San Diego. I'm leaving on Dec 7.

I want you to know that it was my great privilege to attend your WFTH May workshop. 

"Thank you so much for everything.

"Warmest regards,

"Ellie"

My response:

Hello Ellie!

Thank you for being such a diligent playwright! 

I take it that these changes are the only ones that you are willing to make.

I suggest that you rest from your work for a week, and then schedule a reading. You will need some kind of detachment before you listen to your work with new ears.

Afterward, your play is good to go for a final critiquing by a producer and a director. 

Remember, once again, that theatre is teamwork. Your play will definitely undergo more changes, because it is a living document.

I will miss you! I shall be in Singapore on or about the time that you will be in the U.S.A., but I am very confident that your play will be a success!

There is a big difference between writing big and writing small.

Some teachers teach one, others the other.

The best subtitles are in italics. That is because the directional slant of the letters propels the eyes forward and makes for faster reading.

Never give in to the pressure to go commercial.

There is a good story behind everything. All you have to do is find it and write it down.

Dramaturgy for Theatreworks: Ellie's Play

Your e-mail message: "Hello Tony!

"Trust this finds you well. Thank you so much for all your comments re my play.

"Re: Title - I changed it to The Birdrock Effect 

"I added dancers wearing leotard and masks as follows:

- mean/scary masks at the prologue - hoping to show internal conflict (guilty feeling over not being able to save a pet)

 - venetian masks - (associated with Carl and Alba)

- feathery headpieces (associated with the freedom from the fear/aversion and guilty feeling)

"I removed the tape recorder altogether and added a character called Nurse Joy to address the tape recorded portions.

"Re Carl and Alba: I removed the voice over- they can be played by the actors who play Newton and Nurse Joy.

"I added a magic trick to help address Kathryn's trance and the connection between adult and young Kathryn.

"I make Kathryn talk to herself  (maybe better to the audience?) in order to address the internal change from guilty feeling to freedom feeling after that long passage of time. I do appreciate your comments and will be happy to rework on my play.

"Attached are the marked up copy (for you to see what I changed) and the clean copy (for your convenience) of my play.

"All the very best to you. Looking forward to hearing from you again,

"With appreciation,

"Ellie"

My answer: Hi Ellie!

Thank you for all the hard work you've been doing on your play.

The structure of your play is better and most enjoyable, and there are no awkward scenes.

I have a few comments:

--Page 3, Line 10, when you indicate that "FURNITURE IS ROLLED INTO PLACE AFTER DANCES," is furniture necessary at all? Do you mean backdrop furniture or foldable, cardboard furniture?

The movement of furniture onstage needs to be well-timed, and can unnecessarily take anywhere from seconds to minutes while the action stops.

--You have a very good eye for visuals. In this play you work effectively with dichotomies. 

--Page 10, Line 16: Does not John's accident defuse the death of Coco? Were you intending to associate John's death with Coco's death? If you did, then the submotif was dropped completely, and I suggest that you focus on Coco's death instead.

--From my second reading of your play I note that you substitute a dance for the internal processing of your main character. This is fine. It will work, but takes away the potential dramatic change within your character--even for a children's play--and functions a la deus ex machina.

Go for a reading with Theatreworks now. Do not over-write--as in painting, do not over-paint--because it makes one's work lose freshness and spontaneity.

Remember that a written play is a living document. It will take on shape as you work with the director, the cast, the production designer, and the sound and music designer.

I look forward to meeting you again in Singapore this December.

Use your best pens. Do not enshrine them. What is the point of using all those cheap ballpoint pens and pencils when you have your very best on hand?

Never write a book about psychic abilities and then digress into your family background. It is never all about you.

As a matter of fact, when writing such a book, don't even write in the first person.

Never be a secondary source.

People will lose their respect for you sooner or later.

The problem with writing history is that there are no footnotes from the future.

I am a writer. I have written it long before you have ever begun to read it.

Very frequently, I see publishers gathering for glitzy occasions as though they were international book magnates from London, New York, and Melbourne.

Is this not just an illusion, considering that, if you audit their sales, most of their bestsellers are romances, horror paperbacks, and textbooks--a far cry from the level of sophistication they really should be achieving?

Where did they copy this template from? High fashion?